I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
