Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Acid is not a monday night drug
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
