So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
