hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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