I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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