please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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