sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
