Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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