And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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