therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
