I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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