I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
