Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
