Plan B is the new Plan A
Its about making memories worth repressing
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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