I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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