she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize