Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
