the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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