JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
