I wannas sexs uuuuu
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
