break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize