Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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