so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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