Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
