you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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