Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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