Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
a search helicopter?!
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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