I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
