What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
