He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
