I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
