All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
