So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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