Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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