I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
