to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
