do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
