Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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