the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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