Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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