i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
