Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
