At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I have aggressive nipples.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
