if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
