Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
