In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize