I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I have post one night stand depression
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