I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
