That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
