Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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