i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
