Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
