Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
