We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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