I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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