maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize