there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
