But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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