In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
