Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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