with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
