It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
we have pet lesbian snakes
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
