He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
