I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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