Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
